Friday, February 18, 2011

Crazed Woman On The Run

If you feel a nervous breakdown coming on, just...


Most of you probably aren't quite as crazy or chemically imbalanced as I am, but when I say running is my therapy, I mean it.  The other night I suddenly felt that panicky, heart racing, anxious feeling coming on.  I knew I needed to go home and just be alone.  Once I got home, I put my shoes on and walked straight out the door.

No watch.  No music.  I just ran.  It was euphoric, as it so often is.

I haven't been running as much as I normally would because I am still trying to recover from the marathon.  My body feels fine and I'd love to run more.  My brain tells me otherwise.  I know that my muscles, tendons and ligaments all need time to fully recover before I can go out and safely run 20 miles again.

This may be the cause of my near panic-attack.   Who knows.  Maybe I'm just a whack-job.   All I know is that my run last night was one of the most incredibly therapeutic, mind-clearing runs I have ever had.   These runs stand out to me.  I can specifically remember the last run like this, and I wrote about it right here.  

After my run-therapy I was able to relax and unwind.  I felt like myself again.  Ahhh.

Can you believe I will be running the Skyline to Sea Trail Marathon in only 7 weeks?  Me neither.

I haven't shared my opinion about the new Boston qualifying standards yet.  I could write an entire post about how I feel but Chris K summed it up in 3 words: Fair and necessary.  I couldn't agree more.   Way to summarize my entire opinion, Mr. Manly Runner!

I think it is only fair that the faster runners get first dibs on entries.  Someone that ran a 3:15 should definitely have a chance to run it over someone with my 3:35 finish time.  That is what makes it competitive.  I also think changing the standards was necessary.  I originally qualified with 5 minutes to spare.  By the new standards I barely qualified (by 12 seconds)!  I'm glad I pushed it at the end so I can keep my BQ.  :)

That said, the chances of me actually getting an entry are slim to none.  I am okay with that.  I don't train with the hope that I can one day run Boston.  I love running.  Simple as that.  I suppose if someone had their heart set on Boston, it may be bad news, but is that the only reason some people run marathons?  To qualify for and run the Boston Marathon?  If so, I am not one to judge.  I can see the allure, but I can't see Boston being the driving force behind training for a marathon.  It just wouldn't cut it for me.

Oh crap.  So much for being short and sweet with my opinion.

Fair and Necessary.  That is all I meant to say about that.

It's rainy and gloomy in San Diego.  Very unusual for our neck of the woods.   Looks like I'll be running on the treadmill.  I need to keep those nervous breakdowns at bay!

Note:  I am not sure I know the actual definition of a nervous breakdown.  I've probably never quite had one, but I feel like a spazzy lunatic.  That may be a better way to phrase it.   

Last weekend I was laying by our pool...

This weekend, I'll be stuck inside at the gym where I will make Ang pose for pictures in the mirror while people stare.  :)

 Rain, rain, go away -- I need my Vitamin D! 


  1. yep for me too running = therapy...sometimes my husband just hands me my shoes and shows me where the door is. I think he means I am not a delight to be around at that moment?! something like that. I am with you..rain go away, I don't need 2 dates with the treadmill this weekend..I can handle tomorrow because it is short but Sunday not so much!!

  2. Your run sounds like absolutely serenity. I'm quite envious of you so-cal athletes getting to enjoy nature and beautiful surroundings with minimal layers! Ahhh. Summer? Hello? Are you there?

    I'm excited for your trail run in 7 weeks! Your body will be healed and ready for another challenge.

    I totally agree with you on the BQ changes too. It should be a race of the fastest runners.

  3. Love this honest- so true. You have the most amazing ability to open your life and feelings to your followers. You are so loved Kate the Great!

  4. Running is such good therapy. Between the mind clearing solo runs or the run and talk therapy runs with friends, it is the only thing that keeps me (relatively) sane!

  5. Exercise literally is therapy. Read "Spark" by John Ratey and Eric Hagerman- so motivating! It makes me want to be active every single day for my mind, body, and soul!

  6. My perfect blend is my 3+ times a week sessions with the treadmill and 2 times a month sessions with my therapist. The treadmill sessions are cheaper and it doesn't send me home with assignments! But the treadmill doesn't listen very well. So that's what I pay my therapist to do!

  7. I love this attitude. Sometimes I forget that the very best runs are those where I'm so free- no ipod, no garmin, no eye on my pace, just my shoes.

    Thanks for the reminder!

  8. Oh my god, I totally ran for therapy this morning! I had a paranoia attack and I knew that if I didn't get out and get my endorphins circulating I was going to be a mess at work. Usually i would just go for the chocolate - but, this time I went for my sneakers.. and my brain thanked me.

  9. Yes, I am a man of few words.

    Kate, do not be afraid of the rain. I was for many years and after receiving tons of crap from Bloggerland, I ran 9 miles in the pouring rain and loved it.

  10. Ah, I could have written this post. Running is therapy to me too. Always has been. My roommates in college (the days I really freaked out! Anxiety, nervousness, etc.) would tell me to go run all the time when I started acting like too much of a wack job! :) Your thoughts on Boston...well put! You run because you love it! The true spirit of running. Way to be where you are! Again, I've missed you. :) Ha, it seems like forever since I've commented on here or e-mailed with you!

  11. Totally agree. I'm sidelined with injury at the moment and the thing that IS getting to me is not the fact that I might not run my race as well but that I need my therapy. Heading out to the pool this am but it's not the same.. And as for running in the rain, go and do it. I promise you that it's NOT as bad as you think and it's total therapy - it washes everything off.

    I can't get over where you live. How lovely is that?

  12. great post. Your post literally is dead on. I totally agree that running is therapy to me. I view it as an awesome way to take out excess stress and energy in an extremely positive way. The weird thing is that on the days that I'm really worked up I seem to run worse than when I'm relaxed, maybe because I burn a lot of energy being stressed out or something? I've felt kind of off this week mentally, maybe because I wasn't able to work out from Tues-Thurs. I'm excited to run tomorrow, I might go to the gym if it's raining tomorrow, us Cali people have had perfect weather the past 3 weeks, but the skys decided to open completely the last 4 days. Have a great week!

  13. I completely agree! I probably won't ever qualify for Boston, or at least it won't be for a long while, but it IS all about competition. Fair and necessary, indeed. I have friends that run the mary in 2:40. Should they lose placing over my other friends that ran a 3:39?

    I hope that you have a great weekend; though inside! I'm excited to see your upcoming training for your next mary!

  14. I'm not sure I would say that I am "chemically imbalanced," but I get real grumpy when I don't run. When my wife starts telling me I need to go run 20 miles, I know that I'm not that pleasant to be around.

    Completely agree with you on the Boston changes. Fair & necessary is an excellent way to summarize.

    Enjoy the treadmill!

  15. I completely understand where you are coming from. My workouts are my therapy and I go crazy without them.

    I am sorry that San Diego is rainy right now. I visit there quite a few times a year for work and I always seem to be there when it is cloudy. I hope it clears up soon!

  16. Running totally keeps me centered and balanced. When I am being crazy or moody it is usually because I haven't gotten my workout in!

    I can't believe that you are doing 2 marathon within a few months. You are a rock star! That is a great accomplishment.

  17. Love this. Running is therapy heaven! I have a hard time getting back to normal after marathons! The fact that you are running another one so soon is so awesome! You go girl!

  18. I think our rain got pushed down to you. It was crazy rainy yesterday, and it's BEAUTIFUL today.

  19. Definitely chemically imbalanced, here *waving hand high in the air*!! More so for me, when I feel overwhelmed or stressed or similar, I do have panic attacks. Mine can be something simple as a very rapid HR or they can be much worse where I cannot get any air and those literally scare the crap out of me. Running definitely helps and the longer the better. Which is why I have a very hard time throwing in the towel with my heel issue...I know a 3-4 hour run makes feel alive again! So cool to hear it works for you, too!! :)

    Let's hope that rain has moved out in 7 week!! 26 miles of mud isn't the most fun!!

    Happy Weekend!

  20. Kate can I please bug you with a couple questions? have you or Angela ran either the SF 1/2 marathon if yes the first or the second? would you do it again? how hilly was it REALLY? also have you done the LA Rock n Roll 1/2?

  21. I think running is totally therapeutic.. it really is my therapy. It has helped me figure out so many things and I always always feel better/calmer after a run.

    I'm glad you had a good run and it made you feel better!!

  22. I just started running. I can barely run 90 seconds without nearly passing out. So in my own way, I would say running is mind-clearing for me, too, becuase all I can think about is not falling down and shooting off the back of the treadmill.

  23. I love your Run Happy in the sand. :)

  24. Chemically imbalanced? If you're imbalanced, I'm not sure balance is something to works towards. Running for happiness and therapy is running for all the right reasons. And a lot cheaper too!

    I agree about Boston. Either way it's an arbitrary cut off and that specific time does not define anyone as a runner. If I truly wanted to run Boston for its history or whatever, I would push myself. Need to be faster to BQ? Train harder. Otherwise, it's just a course. There are hundreds of other marathons out there to have on a bucket list. For me it's Detroit with a border crossing to Canada, Big Sur for the views (oh but the hills!), and NYC because that's the marathon I grew up watching.

    Try running in the rain...I love it! It makes me feel like a BAMF out there on the streets by myself. And it's really refreshing!

  25. WE WERE WATCHING HEAVY AT THE SAME TIME!!! I feel like we were almost doing it together!! ;) I was ALSO getting so mad at Kevin. Every time he gained weight I wanted to throw something at the TV, and my friend kept telling me to calm down!
    Please come to lunch with me and Janae!! It would be SO much fun! I promise we are a good time! I love your post, and don't ever feel like you have to make your opinions short and sweet. I love hearing the long of it! (And making my responses long apparently...) I'm sorry It's rainy! I hope the sun comes out for you soon. Running is for sure therapy for me. Working out in general is. I feel like i sweat out all of the bad energy. Ok I'll stop...
    I hope you have an AWESOME weekend! xoxoxo
    p.s. love the new header! :)

  26. LOL oh Kate I so enjoy your "craziness". Interestingly enough I can understand your madness lol or should I say need to run. Lately I've been enjoying the sound of my feet on the pavement. You're right there is something therapeutic about running. While I am definitely NOT a "runner" I don't mind getting away and focusing on just me. Truth be told running is one of those selfish indulgence that you need not feel guilty about. I have to be careful cause if I keep "Running with Kate" I may just turn into a real runner! We both know we just can't have that! LOL

  27. I love your attitude about running! I run because I love to run--not to win races or qualify for others. (Easy for slow people like me to say, huh?) About four months ago I started to feel really competitive. It was strange, and it made running more of a chore. I'm so happy to be over that! Here's hoping the sun comes out for you soon!

  28. Since I'm basically a newbie runner...the ONLY reasons I run are for therapy and health (ok...and to stay in my current jean size) The Boston issue was never an issue for me but I think that Fair and Necessary sounds pretty right on.

    PS.. I jammed to Brandi's The Story this weekend and thought of you! :)

  29. I did the same last week at work. I got some bad news, something I wanted to work on got cut, and I got really upset about it. Luckily I had my running gear with me so I just ran away. It felt great and cleared my head. It didn't solve the problem, but that decision is completely out of my control so I can't really solve it.

    I did the same on Friday too I just felt overwhelmed so my 4 mile run turned into 6.5 and it was great. I think it just wears me out enough that i don't have extra energy to focus on things that i don't like that are out of my control.

  30. I was awake all night last night with my own thoughts...I was just tripping about anything and everything. After reading this post I put it all together: I am on a small break from running while I rehab this old-lady hip of mine and it is quite literally driving me crazy.

  31. People always tell me I'm crazy for being a runner. I always say, actually, I'm trying to NOT go crazy!

    And running in the rain is just about the most therapeutic thing I can think of! SoCal is getting more rain this week, you should try it!

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