Thursday, March 17, 2011

Ten Ways I Break The Rules

Beth, over at Shut Up and Run, is starting a little trend.  Everywhere we look, there are rules and guidelines on how we should live our lives.  Eat this, not that.  Get 8 hours of sleep, never eat after 7:00 and floss daily.  Some of these rules are beneficial, I'm sure, but I'm sick of being told what to do.

Here are 10 rules that I break on a regular basis.  I am confessing to you my deepest and darkest secrets, people.  You are not allowed to judge me.  If you can't stand me after this, just Un-follow me and you'll never have to see my face again.  Deal?

  1. I bite my nails. I know it’s a disgusting habit and I don’t need a lecture about how germy my nailbeds are and the diseases I can catch. Trust me, I hear it almost daily from Angela.
  2. I don’t drink water. I may have a few sips throughout the day, but I rarely drink an entire glass of water. I don’t know how I am still alive.
  3. I text and drive. I'm cringing at the looks you are probably giving the computer screen right now. I know, it’s worse than drunk driving and I plan to kick this habit to the curb.
  4. I eat copious amounts of sugar. Sugar in my coffee, ice cream, candy, you name it. Every single day.
  5. I run alone at night. I don’t carry a cell phone or wear reflective gear.
  6. I swear (a lot). Self-explanatory. Tisk, tisk.
  7. I drink too much. It’s not that I drink too frequently, but when I do drink an alcoholic beverage, it never stops at one.  No, I don't need Betty Ford.
  8. I don’t want children. Although it’s becoming more common, I still get strange looks when I tell people this.
  9. I burp, fart and talk about my vagina. I am so far from ladylike, I make my mother cringe. Luckily, she is forced to love me.
  10. I take the elevator. This is exactly what’s wrong with Americans, right? I figure I burn enough calories running, it’s okay to give myself a break now and again.  Plus, I hate stairs with every fiber in my body.
Wow!  That felt great. 
Feel like sharing some dirt?  Please do!


  1. I swear a lot. Ryan made up the word "steffing" in place of "effing" because I at LEAST try to not say the actual f*word (all that rap music i tell ya) around the kids. I had been saying effing too much so he gave me a challenge to see if I could say stephing awesome or This stephing sucks, etc. It's stephinitely working.

  2. I've thought the same thing with the water. How am I functioning? My stomach can't even handle a full glass of water at a time. I am trying to drink a little more water though, cause I've noticed I get crampy after sweaty workouts.

    I drink too much as well and my dirt is that my drink of choice this past summer and even every so often now is 4 loko. Real bad I know, I only have it on rare occasion now. But doesn't everyone want to get drunk and then get the urge to burst out as many push-ups as possible. I swear I could run my fastest mile fueled by that stuff; and probably have a heart attack in the process.

  3. I cannot support the elevator though, stairs are the love of my life :P

  4. Mother fucker! Okay, so I knew we could be friends, but now I know we could be best friends. Omg you and I would get together and drink too much and start farting loudly and talking about our vaginas to the bartender. I love the elevator much in the same way I love to park as close to the door of the grocery store as humanly possible. I can run marathons, but do not ask me to walk a few feet. I don't have time for that.

  5. Oh Beth! Mother and fucker are my 2 favorite words. I combine them on a daily basis. We are destined to be BFFs.

  6. Texting and driving is so bad! (Vegans get plenty of hydration via fruits and veggies, so you are covered.)

  7. Ok, I do have to get after you about the texting & driving! Please stop!! Nothing is that important! I used to do it, too, but once I stopped, it wasn't too big of a deal. Then, I decided to send a text while driving one day and it had been long enough that it felt dangerous and horrible, and I stopped.

    I'm with you on the no children thing. And I LOVE talking about my vagina... I don't know why, I just do. I swear a lot, too. Trying to give that one up.

  8. If it wasnt for 5 and 8, we would be complete opposites

  9. Well, I am glad for 5 & 8 then! :)

  10. Okay, I know like you more! I am so with you on the cussing, drinking, burping and farting. I have a child but somedays I really don't want him anymore. I swear he is trying to kill me!

  11. I'm with Christi, I think I like you even more.

  12. Nice! I bet it does feel good to purge all that! Get it out in the open...the only one I have to say is awful is the texting and driving. I truly hope you can kick it. I kicked it about 3 months ago. For good. It is so dangerous and just the thought of what could happen...if I don't die then someone else could and then I would be in jail. for what? To say "OMG! LOL!! B there in 5." But i know you know that!!

    YES! I love the elevator! I need it!! I remember blogging about taking the elevator to the locker room after my FIRST 20 miler. Staff weren't allowed to use it at the gym I went to but I didn't care...double rule break! I was like, try to stop me. I just ran 20 damn miles. Kiss it! THAT felt good!

  13. @Beth and @Kate you two crack me up!! I like you even more too! You are donating your eggs, eating Vegan, working for a non-profit, but thankfully you cuss like a sailor and Vajazzling is not off limits in convo!! You are human!

  14. Wonderful traits! I share a *lot* of those with you! Though - I do have to disagree with elevator/stairs :)

  15. I take the elevator too!! Had to go down 5 floors last night-I headed for the elevator, and my resident was like, "Let's take the stairs, I'm sure we could both use the exercise." ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME! Because I ran 13 miles today, I think I've met my quota for the day.

    I text and drive too. Even when I'm super sleep deprived. Ooops.

  16. Time to leave some dirt. This is actually a lot more difficult than i thought.... lol.

    1. Those movies where "the world ends", natural disasters, aliens... freak the hell out of me and give me panic attacks. Along with the news.
    2. I have been cutting my own hair for the past 3 years... i don't trust anyone to do it.
    3. Drinking milk alone has made me want to puke for the past 20 years now. I always thought i would end up getting osteoporosis by the time i was 30, because that's what everyone told me. So happy that's a bunch of bullshit =]
    4. I swear a fuck of a lot. lol.
    5. I talk/critique way too much when it comes to design/typography. Just ask my gf lol.
    6. I secretely wish I looked like a young Paul McCartney or Andrew McCarthy... and if I had hair like Mike Score from Flock of Seagulls, my life would be complete.
    7. I have an extremely small amount of friends.. and really no one i can relate to. It really seems like i can't relate to 99.9% of humanity.
    8. I can only drink water with lemon. That's pretty much the only thing I drink anymore.
    9. I am a sucker for reality tv. sadly.
    10. I really want to start my own publication... esp with all of the faults and negatives I've seen, I would love to bring something to the table that hasn't been done yet.

  17. Love it. I love to swear although I am trying to give it up with my 4 kids hanging around:) and vagina talk is my favorite. You definitely rock!

  18. You are bad to the bone, girl! Loved your honesty. I take the elevator, too - except at the gym...and that's only because people would talk :D

  19. "I eat copious amounts of sugar" -- same here!
    "I swear (a lot)" -- uh, yeah. I am lucky that it is under control in the office, though I have been known to swear here too. Usually not during important meetings, at least.
    "I drink too much" -- yeah, I drink 1-2 drinks almost every night. Usually wine or beer.
    "I don’t want children" -- I wouldn't say ever for me, but, I am 32 and it still doesn't feel like a priority yet. However, I'm getting old in a reproductive sense, so.
    "I burp, fart and talk about my vagina" -- yeah, burping, farting, and maybe not talking so much about my vagina, but too much talking about potty rituals related to running and races.

    I can (and sometimes do) drink my body weight in diet soda.
    I love Jersey Shore, Bachelorette, Top Model (basically any moronic reality show).

  20. I text and drive a lot. I'm careful of course and I maybe shouldn't do it but oh well. Sometimes I drive late at night and it helps keep me up, it keeps me engaged.

    My 7yo daughter burps like crazy! She only does it around me though, special daddy-daughter times I know, but she's a bit embarrassed to do it around anyone else. Good stuff.

  21. I like you more and more everyday. Especially for the sugar and the potty mouth:)

  22. 1. I swear too much
    2. I don't always put on makeup before leaving the house
    3. I drink 4+ cups of coffee a day
    4. I don't shower before going in the hot tub after yoga, I just don't feel like i sweat in yoga so i'm not dirty.
    5. I hog gym machines, I tend to stay on the elliptical for 45 minutes to an hour and you are only supposed to be on a machine for 30 minutes

  23. I think we're twins. Except substitute the sugar with salty snacks.

    Except the stairs, but that's because our elevator takes for FUCKING ever and is way sketchy.

  24. The only thing I'm gonna judge you on is the texting while driving...not safe for anyone! Lecture over.

    And I think it's great when people know they don't want kids and don't have them. Better that then having them and discovering you don't want them!

  25. You're not alone ... we all burp, fart, and talk about your vagina. Hmmm ... looks like we have #7 in common tonight. Never good to blog comment when you're several Guinness deep on St. Patty's day. Don't drink and blog.

  26. I also text and drive... Its so bad! One time I was at a stoplight texting and a police officer pulled up next to me and motioned for me to roll down my window. He like, "You're texting!!!" Oops.

  27. love these!! especially the swearing one...I'm glad to hear things like potty mouth is getting worse as I get older...

  28. #8 is not breaking the rules. It's being responsible and honoring your truth. I applaud you.

    I do know of one running related "rule" you do NOT do not heel strike. Look at the beautiful mid-foot strike in your pic. I'm jealous.

  29. I used to text and drive too, and I guess I still sort of do, but I use the speech-to-text feature on my Droid now. It's so cool! The only problem? It doesn't recognize swear words. lol

  30. These are great! I applaud you with being honest!

  31. Love this!! Ha! There are so many rules that I break! Always. Rules are meant to be broken. right? :) ;) I'll think about some of the rules I break that I want to dish. :)

  32. I do all of those except #2 and #5. I do drink alot of water and I am afraid of the dark.

  33. * I don't floss. And I put off trips to the dentist. And while I have been on the farm, I have totally forgotten to even brush my teeth a few times. Gross.

    * I hate the gym. Lifting weights is weird for me. Treadmills are my enemy. A big part of why I run is to feel the earth beneath my feet.

    * Even for a yoga teacher, sometimes yoga is funny. I have definitely found myself stifling laughter before during class. Everything from the too-thin spandex that some girls choose to stretch in, to the occasional mis-interpretations of my cues (wait, how did your leg end up there?!?) have made me chuckle.

    *Worse than even biting my nails, I find myself biting the skin around my nails when I am nervous. Its a habit I am working on breaking!

    *I don't shower very often, and I don't wear deoderant. Yeah, I am working toward that dirty-hippie-yogi stereotype.

    Love ya Kate,

  34. Wait?!!? You're a REAL person??? And all this time I though you were some superhuman picture of perfection. Oh still totally are. I text and drive...yikes. (All the while telling myself it's a bad Idea.) Oh and I totally take the elevator, right after fighting tooth and nail for a front row parking spots. The worst part? I take it right after telling my clients all day they should be taking the stairs, and parking far away...blah blah blah. I'm awful.
    I've missed you!! I've been a HORRIBLE blog commenter! I hope you're doing well! :) xoxoxo

  35. From #4 to #9 we have a lot in common!
    On the drinking thing--I call it binge drinking. I had a little meltdown after my last birthday. I drank way too much, and I felt so out of control. Since that day I have limited myself to two drinks in one day, and I only allow myself to drink on the weekends. Good luck kicking some bad habits, but we ALL have them!

  36. I also text while driving. So no judgement here!

  37. I love your bad habbits! Personally I don't think that there is anything wrong with high intakes of sugars in all forms, even though I know it is terrible for just tastes so good!

  38. I'm with you on so many of these things (the drinking and swearing especially) but I love you so much for putting #8 out there! I am so right there with you and despite the fact that I am 35 years old and have felt this way my entire life, people still seem to think I will change my mind when it's "my own." Um - no! Yeesh.

  39. oh kate, this why you're so great! i break a lot of the same rules, and i especially like the last one. i just don't get the irony of the fact that i can run for hours, up and down hills, but i get winded after climbing one flight of stairs! ha. one of my broken rules? i rewear workout clothes! i just don't do that much laundry to keep up with my running. i'm sorry i'm not sorry.

  40. 2,3,4,6 and 7- me too!

    My rule- Sometimes I pull the double-standard card with my husband. Sigh. But seriously, I think I should be allowed to leave clothes on the floor since I'm the one that cleans... Right?

    Oh, and I have a picture of Che Guevara in my classroom ;)

  41. oh GOD BLESS YOU -- I'm 27, and I don't want kids. I've always known this. We are a rare breed....

    If you run in a fairly safe city/neighborhood, I'm not too concerned about dark running. I run at 6:00 a.m. when it's pitch black. I figure we can outrun the bad guys...

    And today's the day girl, promise to your readers: no texting and driving!

  42. 1-6 = ditto here!! I only bite my thumb nails though...they're just more convenient I guess. You can tell when I'm stressed cuz the thumbs are disgusting! Ha.

  43. You crack me up, thanks for the honesty :) !

  44. Hahaha wait I love you times a mil. We are twinnies!! I am so unladylike, my parents don't like it very much but Imeann everybody poops! A few of my girlfriends and I poop religiously after every meal when we're down in Nicaragua. As I like to say, "no boundaries, no problem!" :)

  45. Love these!!!! (esp. #8...if I just ran 20 miles, I also am not stopping at 1...this also applies when I have NOT run 20 miles...)

  46. One of my professors likes to curse in class. The other day I asked her if she thought my Shakespeare paper was worth revising and trying to publish.

    "Why revise it? It's fine."

    "There's s**t wrong with it."

    She didn't bat an eyelid. I will miss her after finals.

  47. I bite my nails too! I HATE it when people comment on how I shouldn't! I figure (and tell people who comment) that I don't smoke. I don't do drugs. I pay my bills and generally live a responsible life. If my worst habit is biting my nails, I think I'm doing pretty good. As are you. Rock on!

  48. Ohhhh myyyy gooodnesss. This just made me die. I also fart and burp all the time. So gross but it's better out than in, right? I thought I was the only one on the no kids train but you just made me feel a lot better. Other people's kids I can handle because I can give them back when I don't want them anymore. But my own? No thanks. Texting and driving? Pretty much my part-time job. Oops.

  49. I just found your blog and I LOVE it!!! This post alone has won me over. Your honesty makes me feel better about all the rules that I try so hard to follow, but don't. Thanks!!!:) (I do #1, 3, 6, 7 and 9 too:))

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