Saturday, November 16, 2013

We Can't (Always) Have it All

Recently, when hanging out with my friends, Teresa and Natalie, we were discussing life over a few afternoon cocktails.  We're deep like that.  We were talking about how it is rare for all components of life to be thriving at once.  You have relationships, career and health - to name a few - and when one area of life seems perfect, another one of these is usually off.  A year ago, I was in a job I loved and my relationship was coming to an end.  A few months ago, I fell in love and left my job.  Now that is a huge source of stress and putting a damper on my days.  It is so difficult to get it all right at the same time.  Life is about balance, but that balance is a bitch to figure out.

I've never been unemployed in my adult life, so this is completely foreign to me.  I have been beating myself up for resigning from my job and traveling.  I have to remember that I listened to my heart when I left, so the choice must have been right.  Right?  I need to accept the consequences of that choice and believe it was for the best.  Every day without a call back results in a drop in my self esteem and happiness.  That needs to stop.  Negativity breeds negativity.  No more!  Life can't always be perfect and I still have a ton to be thankful for.  Balance will come in due time.

My quiet little corner of the house to read, write and reflect.
It's time to practice some gratitude for what I DO have.  Here is my list at the moment:

  • People who love me and accept me for exactly who I am (and am not).
  • Beautiful nieces and nephews who keep me young.
  • My sister and brother in law for flying me out to Illinois.
  • This delicious cup of coffee and warm blanket.
  • Last night's candlelight yoga practice next to my sister.  Since having 3 kids, it is rare that we ever have time alone together.
  • Music.  I love listening to music I haven't heard in awhile, like Jenn Grant, Angus & Julia Stone, and Wild Belle.  Good for the soul! 
  • Running.  Being in a house full of screaming children this past week makes me grateful for that one hour I take to run and decompress.  I now understand why so many moms are marathoners.
  • Puppy snuggles.  Holly, the family dog, now lives with my sister and I've missed her.  She's been at my side every second since I've been back home.
  • The belly laughs I have when I'm with my crazy, silly family.  It is the best medicine.
  • Red wine.  Just because.
So rather than wallow in regret and bitter disappointment at not yet finding a job, I need to count my blessings, soak up this rare free time with my family, and smile a little more.  Everything will fall into place as it should.  It always does.



What are you grateful for today?

Which areas of your life are thriving and which are not?





37 comments:

  1. You said it! YES, I have no doubt that your choice to travel was the right one, and that clarity about why will come soon enough. And in the meantime, just enjoy all of those other wonderful things you're feeling grateful for. I feel that push and pull all the time, and steadfastly believe that we're always supposed to have a little struggle somewhere in our lives. I'm currently struggling a lot in my career, but the struggle is illuminating a lot of important things I needed to learn about myself. So, good with the bad. A lot like my running these days! =)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm sure you have heard 17 million pieces of advice on the job front, but have you thought about substitute teaching while you continue to hunt? You'd have the take the CBEST (a super easy test... I took it hungover when I was 20) and go through a security check, but it generally pays like $100/day. Just a thought :) Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I know exactly the feeling you describe above - I was unemployed for a short time, and it is stressful. But I think you made the right decision to travel, sounded like your trip was a great one. You will get your job squared away all in due time, so I wouldn't worry. Just go for the job you think you want to do, and you'll get it.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm thankful that I have my family and boyfriend for supporting me before, during, and after my surgery.

    My brain is on move to England time and I feel like I'm in a haze just waiting for that day. So, my life feels incomplete. If that makes sense at all. I will also quit my job and go in to the contracting world and it's scary not having security there.

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